Long post ahead.

Two Mondays ago, I was in traffic court. I spent the whole day, and I found myself wedged between a boy who really looked like a girl and another boy who smelt of piss and mouth decay. My crime: I didn’t have my seatbelt on. And as such I was putting my life in danger. At least, that’s what the fat policeman who took us in told us.Read More »


The help

By Boris

I used to love the show ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’. Will Smith was sort of the big brother I never had. He was this funny charismatic guy who somehow always got his way with the ladies. In that respect I guess you can say Will Smith is the anti- Johnny Bravo.

Will and Geoffrey–the butler– always had this ongoing banter, making fun of everyone in the house. Uncle Phil had his girth, Hillary her ignorance and Carlton for being Carlton.Read More »

Number 2

The death sentence in Arkansas is very much like the one we have in Kenya. It doesn’t work. Instead, you sit in jail doing nothing as you wait for your human system to cave in from all the weevil infested meals. I hear in Kenya the death sentence means you get exempted from doing any community work and so I assume the criminals who are meant to go under the rope must be really bored in there, and that they’re the ones who keep sending fake jackpot text messages to the rest of us free birds.

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