This post contains some quotes, things about Family Guy, and some Game of Thrones references that will fly right past you if you’ve never seen a white walker.
Okay. So maybe I was wrong about the Rubik’s cube. Maybe it’s not all that useless.
After writing about the damned thing, I threw it back to where it belonged, which is somewhere in a dark drawer. But before I did, I sort of played with it a bit, I let it roll in my hands and felt the squares with my fingers. I flipped it over a few more times and it quickly dawned on me that I liked how it felt. I liked watching the packed cubic colors dancing around in 3D, and I toyed with the idea that, someday, I just might sit down and attempt to solve it.
So after I put the cube away I became terribly aware that I didn’t know what to do with my hands anymore. My palms felt like they had craters of emptiness in the middle and I ached to play with the cube some more. So what I did was, I went back to the drawer and took it out of the darkness.
I haven’t put the cube down since.
It smells of hard plastic, like a video game cartridge (remember those?). I like to toss it about in the air because I like the sound it makes with my hands when it lands. When I slowly twist it around I almost start to see a way around the puzzle, but it’s never quite right. The cube has stopped being frustrating, though. It has become my thinking tool. I no longer have to tug the strands of hair on my chin to do my thinking. I’ve realized that, as long as I have the cube in my hands, I’m not disturbing the hair growth around my chin. The hair is now free to sprout without much interference. This Rubik’s cube is going to help me grow that beard I’ve always wanted.
This isn’t about the Rubik’s cube. But it moves us swiftly onto the first quote of the evening. From Game of Thrones:
“The seeing, the true seeing, that is the heart of it.”
Those words were said by Syrio Forel. You might remember him, first sword to the Sealord of Braavos, the swift water dancer who taught Arya Stark how to use a sword. You know, other than the basic premise of ‘stick ‘em with the pointy end.’
It’s been about a year since I was sold into Game of Thrones. Well, it was more of an arm twisting but I found it to be rather interesting. I cultivated a love for the Imp and got an erection every time Daenerys came on screen. I liked the smooth words that poured out of Lord Varys’ mouth and the tune that plays at the beginning slowly grew on me.
But first let’s talk about Family Guy.
On Thursday, as the grey light of dawn streamed through my bedroom window, I grabbed the laptop to get some work done. But my head was still foggy with sleep and I opted, instead, to watch a bit of Family Guy.
It was cloudy and cold outside. I could hear cars whistling past on Namanga Road and the help was belting out a gospel song somewhere behind the homestead. I instinctively increased the volume and soon I was laughing the air out my lungs. And this is coming from someone who finds cartoons no funnier than a tube of paste. There was a brief moment when Lois had taken off her shirt and I remember thinking, “Wow. Lois has a really nice pair of breasts for a cartoon.”
At the end of that episode I was convinced that Stewie was the devil’s spawn, Meg was an unnecessary element and Peter Griffin was smarter than people give him credit for. I mean, there was a scene in which Lois was ranting on about her friends. And, as you might expect, Peter was bored out of his ass. He wasn’t paying attention to his wife but she would never know because Peter has mastered the right things to say to a ranting woman.
“Oh it’s really not your fault, Lois.”
“I can’t believe Diane would do that to you.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Lois.”
“Hey Lois, anal tonight?”
And that brings us right back to Game of Thrones.
It took a girl’s convincing to get me to watch it and I wrote about it here. At the time, I thought I had a good handle on matters dating. I considered myself a pro at picking my battles and navigating the blurry depths of a relationship. I thought I was ready for that sort of commitment, even though I remain largely clueless on most things. And one of those things is that I never really know what to say to a ranting girl. I mean, getting to Peter’s level must take years of marriage and practice.
Take this text I got as a prime example. A girl was ranting about her boyfriend:
So one time I mentioned how he doesn’t give me details about things and I was really pissed off that day because his class was cancelled, and he didn’t think to tell me and we hadn’t met in like 2 weeks! (That was a lot for us because we’d meet on a daily even). So for me I was just like, aii how do you not tell me class was cancelled and we’d have legit met up? I couldn’t believe him. He was acting weird and I just couldn’t.
I didn’t know what to say. I stared at that text for a very long time before deciding on the safest reply I could think of: I can’t believe he did that to you. And that was the end of that.
I’ve now been reading the book, Game of Thrones. And, naturally, it’s much better than the show. The language is flowery and the pages practically turn themselves, I’m gobbling up the book like a Grand Maester and Tyrion Lannister doesn’t feel like a dwarf. I get a better feel of the characters by reading. I hate Sansa a bit less and I’ve taken up the name Ser Loras Tyrell as my own. Every time someone asks my name I say, “I am Loras Tyrell, son of Mace Tyrell, lord of the Highgarden and warden of the south.”
It’s childish I know but it’s really fun to say.
But I can’t say I’m any less clueless than I was a year ago, though. I still know nothing. I don’t know if I’m ready for another relationship. I don’t know if I can handle the intricacies and madness of a ranting girl, and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I can. I don’t even see myself getting there anytime soon. Most of all, I don’t know how to finish this post. All I know is that being single is kind of like taking the black, long nights in the cold craving a woman in your bed. Which brings us to the next quote: there’s something in the smell o’ the night that I mislike. Those words were said by one of the stewards at Castle Black. It was right after Ghost –Jon Snow’s dire wolf- brought back a human hand from its hunt in the woods.
So I’m going to pen off with the binding vow of the men of the Night’s Watch.
Hear my words, and bear witness to my vow. Night gathers and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.