Kiss my Arsenal

Disclaimer: Don’t even bother with this post if all you know about football is Manchester United.

There’s plenty of things to say about 2004. Prezzo was still on our airwaves, telling the fans he loves them, and to the haters: Kuleni sembe, meza wembe. It was the year I’d finally taste a girl’s saliva. And it wasn’t as disgusting as everyone had made it out to be.Read More »


Highway Robbery

There’s an audio file on my desktop. It’s thirty two minutes long and it contains everything that was said two weeks ago –when I sat down for a chat with my lecturer.

I was on assignment for Craft It. It was my first serious interview and I was keen on making a banger out of it.Read More »

The Hair and the Rabbit

“Don’t go back to the ship,” she begged him. “They’ll kill you there.”

She was sniffing furiously, trying not to cry, trying not to hurt him.

“It’s my ship,” he said gently. “It’s my crew. You know I have to go.”

The girl is called Lisa Larsen. She’s speaking to her hubby, Thor Larsen.Read More »

The Honky Tonk

This story starts like most of them, really. I was in a mat. I was drunk. And I was on my way home. I was riding shotgun in a white van. I lost the window seat to a bulky chap whose breath smelt like boiled eggs and smokies. I was wedged between him and the driver.Read More »

The Diplomat

Once upon a time an Italian statesman by the name of Camillo Cavour sat down and thought: No, my beloved country won’t be freed from oppression by mass uprisings. The Austrian armies were too strong. Not many Italians were willing to take up arms anyway. They probably just wanted to put on their toques and make some lasagna.Read More »